2010 is gone so I thought it would be appropriate to get my first blog of the year out of the way. The past few months I have been thinking about the past year and all that has happened in my life, the life of my family, and the life of many of my friends. In one of the most memorable years in a long time many things have happened, and I will try and recap a few here.
2010 started with excitement and anticipation as I blogged on my lifestyle change and my goals for the year. I had just finished a year where I lost 70 lbs and had finished two half marathons. I set a goal to run the Chicago Marathon and continue to lose more weight. My oldest daughter was about to embark on her first show choir competition and my youngest daughter was doing acting classes. My wife was running all over the world trying to take care of us all.
As winter carried on I really hammered down on my nutrition and ended up losing a total of 101 pounds and more than 20% of my body fat. As March came, AGMC asked to take pictures and asked me for permission to release my story. I did so but did not expect what happened at the end of this year.
During the spring of 2010 I called it quits on losing weight and enjoyed life a bit. I went to California with my wife, had some great leisure runs, worked out for fun for a change, and really just praised God for all that He did for me over the 13 prior months. I also set a goal at that point to run the Hall of Fame to Notre Dame 1/2 Marathon.
I am a huge Rudy fan and, even though I am not Catholic, I really like the history and prestige that Notre Dame University has, so when the opportunity came to be able to run onto the field I just had to go. It was one of my highest points of the year! I went and explored the campus the day before and when I entered into the stadium at the end of the run I was in awe with the tunnel and stadium in general. Great race!
The Notre Dame race was in the beginning of June; at the end of June I started my marathon cycle. This is typically a 16 week cycle which for me would culminate in the Chicago Marathon. However, June, July, August, and September were some of the hottest months on record for the NEO area. This showed me that my kryptonite is HEAT! I hate it! (At least from a running perspective)
In July we took off as a family on vacation to Ocean Isle, NC and then to Denver, Colorado! Both were awesome highlights of the year. We went from below sea level to 14,240 feet above sea level in a couple of weeks. The best part for me was that my wife and kids were with me which is rare when I travel a lot for my job; typically I only experience these things without them.
In September the Akron Marathon took place and I realized why I liked this race so much the year before. The first time I ran it I was busy trying to breath and make it to the finish. This time I enjoyed the run and absorbed all of my surroundings. Akron does a wonderful job putting on the race and the organizers are exceptionally organized and made the event a huge success.
October was special in that I finished my first marathon with 36,000 other runners. What an incredible experience - and I finished it with my wife, kids, brothers, and good friend and Brother in Christ Dale Liff not too far from me! I said at the end that I would never run a marathon again, well it only took a day to change my mind. The end of 2011 I am sure will include one more marathon!
November and December have kept me busy with maintaining my weight and contemplating the next year's events. I love goal setting and I will write more about this year's goals in another blog post to come soon. In short, from a physical standpoint I want to run a half marathon at Cleveland in May and then do a full marathon in the fall. From a personal standpoint I hope to go to seminary and start a Master's degree in the fall. From a family standpoint I want to lead my wife and kids in the only way I know how in the way of Christ.
Good bye for now and I will write more often in 2011! God Bless you all!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Monday, October 11, 2010
A Marathon Experience!
Truly Humbled! I am not sure I can give you a word that is better to describe my feelings about yesterday's Chicago Marathon. I would love to tell you all that it was easy and fun and truly awesome but I can't. Why? Because I have never done anything in my life that was this tough.
The day began at 5:00 AM when I got up to get ready for the event. I spent the first hour up with stomach issues. I think I must have been nervous about the day's happenings. At 6:30 AM we took off for the starting line which was about a mile from the hotel. We walked over, only to find mass confusion in the Grant Park area. After a bit of scrambling we found our way to the start corrals just before they closed the gate behind us. The National Anthem played and off we went!
As we were all lucky enough to have qualified for a starting corral, we started the race in front of 30,000 unseeded runners. With that being said, it still took us 4 minutes to get across the starting line. When we first started out all was going great. We (Dale, my two brothers-in-law, and I) were moving right along at our expected race pace. The energy from the crowd was amazing, as 1.7 million spectators lined the course all the way throughout the race. In some places they over took the runners and were even on the course.
By about mile 5 everything started to settle down and we were able to find some room to get into a rhythm and enjoy a bit of the course. At this point we were heading north toward Wrigleyville. With people everywhere cheering us on, I told Dale that at that point I felt like I was floating. I could start to detect at this time that Dale was not feeling that well and his day would be a tough one. However, we continued on.
Leaving Wrigleyville we head back south toward the downtown area and toward the half-way point. Around mile 12 I was expecting to see my awesome wife and two wonderful daughters. This was my motivation at that point - to make it to see them and feed off their energy. At about the 12.5 mile mark I was running with my brother-in-law Greg when off to the right I heard them yell for me and I was renewed! Greg went off to slap hands and I continued on, thinking he would catch up to me.
It was at the mid-point that it all began to go astray. I was confused because I had lost all of the guys that were running with me; I was running alone and therefore I began to over-think things a bit. I wondered if I had fallen off the pace or if I had been pushing too hard too soon. I continued on my own through mile 14,15,16,17,18, and 19. At mile 19 I began to feel the gorilla on my back. At this point I began to walk through a couple of water stops, and around mile 20 they caught up to me. Only I lost them once again, which at that point was a big blow to my mental state of mind.
Around mile 22 Greg caught up to me and asked me if I needed someone to run with me. Boy did I ever! At that point I was spent and needed someone to help get me through the last 4.2 miles. Greg is an experienced marathoner who had run a 3:19 marathon last year to qualify for Boston; he was exactly what I needed at that point.
The games I played in my head and the emotions I felt are not truly describable. It is something you need to go through to understand, but let's just say that I wanted to cry and smile at the same time. The pain was intense and the thought of finishing was intoxicating. I told Greg at that point I wanted to make it to the last 5K and then see what I could do.
We hit the 23 mile mark and entered into the Nike finishing zone. This is where the TV cameras were, as well as the race photographers. (I can't wait to see a picture of me at that point as I was pretty close to out of it). Greg commented that it was a dumb place to take pictures and I concur! At that point Greg told me that we were in the last 5K and asked if I was ready, to which I replied NO! He talked me off the ledge and convinced me to give him 3 good 10 minute segments to finish. I just looked straight forward and began to push to the finish line.
At the 24 mile mark my right calf and my left hamstring were taking turns pulsating to almost cramping status. I mentioned it to Greg and he encouraged me to take different running positions, which I did to little relief, but I was determined to finish the race. I had worked way too many hours and run far too many miles to quit.
The heat in the second half was taking its toll on everyone, including me. By the time I hit mile 24 I would say the heat was 82 degrees and people were dropping like flies. It was at this point that I was truly humbled and began to fully appreciate all those that had gone 26.2 before me. People were falling over, being held up, and being carted off in wheelchairs. It was chaos!
At this point I saw a girl in front of me with a shirt on that said "All things are possible with Christ Jesus." This is where I began to realize that God gave me Greg and the crowd to get me through to the finish. Mile 25 came and went and we came to the last 800 meters.
I began to think of my training at this point and I remembered all of the 800's I had done in training and how I hated them. I kept my head focused on the finish and listened to Greg as he called out the remaining distance. Mile 26 came and just beyond it I heard my wife and kids rooting me on to the finish. This was the only point in the last 13.1 miles my head was thinking clearly as I pointed to the sky and was revived with their energy.
As I turned the corner to head to the finish I was greeted by a hill which was small, but after the previous 26 miles it seemed like Mount Everest. I put my head down and went up the hill, made the left hand turn, and I could clearly see the finish line. Greg was working the crowd to get them to cheer for the finishers and I tried to feed off them. As I crossed the finish line I wanted to collapse.
My immediate thought as I finished was that I would never do this again! I was spent and I was mentally beaten. As I worked my way to the water, Gatorade, and food I began to rebound a bit, but my feeling was still that I had to be nuts to do this! I was also disappointed that I missed my goal of finishing in 4 hours or less.
As I begin now to reflect, I can truly see that I gave all that I had yesterday. I am not sure I could have pushed much harder if at all. I was cramping, it was hot, and I was a first time marathoner. My finishing time of 4:06:49 was in the top 1/3rd of the finishers which proves to me that the weather was an issue to all involved.
Today I have already determined that I will do another marathon. I am not sure where or when, but I will come back more experienced and determined to do better. I am proud of the accomplishment as only 1% of all Americans run a marathon. I am part of the 1% by the grace of God!
The day began at 5:00 AM when I got up to get ready for the event. I spent the first hour up with stomach issues. I think I must have been nervous about the day's happenings. At 6:30 AM we took off for the starting line which was about a mile from the hotel. We walked over, only to find mass confusion in the Grant Park area. After a bit of scrambling we found our way to the start corrals just before they closed the gate behind us. The National Anthem played and off we went!
As we were all lucky enough to have qualified for a starting corral, we started the race in front of 30,000 unseeded runners. With that being said, it still took us 4 minutes to get across the starting line. When we first started out all was going great. We (Dale, my two brothers-in-law, and I) were moving right along at our expected race pace. The energy from the crowd was amazing, as 1.7 million spectators lined the course all the way throughout the race. In some places they over took the runners and were even on the course.
By about mile 5 everything started to settle down and we were able to find some room to get into a rhythm and enjoy a bit of the course. At this point we were heading north toward Wrigleyville. With people everywhere cheering us on, I told Dale that at that point I felt like I was floating. I could start to detect at this time that Dale was not feeling that well and his day would be a tough one. However, we continued on.
Leaving Wrigleyville we head back south toward the downtown area and toward the half-way point. Around mile 12 I was expecting to see my awesome wife and two wonderful daughters. This was my motivation at that point - to make it to see them and feed off their energy. At about the 12.5 mile mark I was running with my brother-in-law Greg when off to the right I heard them yell for me and I was renewed! Greg went off to slap hands and I continued on, thinking he would catch up to me.
It was at the mid-point that it all began to go astray. I was confused because I had lost all of the guys that were running with me; I was running alone and therefore I began to over-think things a bit. I wondered if I had fallen off the pace or if I had been pushing too hard too soon. I continued on my own through mile 14,15,16,17,18, and 19. At mile 19 I began to feel the gorilla on my back. At this point I began to walk through a couple of water stops, and around mile 20 they caught up to me. Only I lost them once again, which at that point was a big blow to my mental state of mind.
Around mile 22 Greg caught up to me and asked me if I needed someone to run with me. Boy did I ever! At that point I was spent and needed someone to help get me through the last 4.2 miles. Greg is an experienced marathoner who had run a 3:19 marathon last year to qualify for Boston; he was exactly what I needed at that point.
The games I played in my head and the emotions I felt are not truly describable. It is something you need to go through to understand, but let's just say that I wanted to cry and smile at the same time. The pain was intense and the thought of finishing was intoxicating. I told Greg at that point I wanted to make it to the last 5K and then see what I could do.
We hit the 23 mile mark and entered into the Nike finishing zone. This is where the TV cameras were, as well as the race photographers. (I can't wait to see a picture of me at that point as I was pretty close to out of it). Greg commented that it was a dumb place to take pictures and I concur! At that point Greg told me that we were in the last 5K and asked if I was ready, to which I replied NO! He talked me off the ledge and convinced me to give him 3 good 10 minute segments to finish. I just looked straight forward and began to push to the finish line.
At the 24 mile mark my right calf and my left hamstring were taking turns pulsating to almost cramping status. I mentioned it to Greg and he encouraged me to take different running positions, which I did to little relief, but I was determined to finish the race. I had worked way too many hours and run far too many miles to quit.
The heat in the second half was taking its toll on everyone, including me. By the time I hit mile 24 I would say the heat was 82 degrees and people were dropping like flies. It was at this point that I was truly humbled and began to fully appreciate all those that had gone 26.2 before me. People were falling over, being held up, and being carted off in wheelchairs. It was chaos!
At this point I saw a girl in front of me with a shirt on that said "All things are possible with Christ Jesus." This is where I began to realize that God gave me Greg and the crowd to get me through to the finish. Mile 25 came and went and we came to the last 800 meters.
I began to think of my training at this point and I remembered all of the 800's I had done in training and how I hated them. I kept my head focused on the finish and listened to Greg as he called out the remaining distance. Mile 26 came and just beyond it I heard my wife and kids rooting me on to the finish. This was the only point in the last 13.1 miles my head was thinking clearly as I pointed to the sky and was revived with their energy.
As I turned the corner to head to the finish I was greeted by a hill which was small, but after the previous 26 miles it seemed like Mount Everest. I put my head down and went up the hill, made the left hand turn, and I could clearly see the finish line. Greg was working the crowd to get them to cheer for the finishers and I tried to feed off them. As I crossed the finish line I wanted to collapse.
My immediate thought as I finished was that I would never do this again! I was spent and I was mentally beaten. As I worked my way to the water, Gatorade, and food I began to rebound a bit, but my feeling was still that I had to be nuts to do this! I was also disappointed that I missed my goal of finishing in 4 hours or less.
As I begin now to reflect, I can truly see that I gave all that I had yesterday. I am not sure I could have pushed much harder if at all. I was cramping, it was hot, and I was a first time marathoner. My finishing time of 4:06:49 was in the top 1/3rd of the finishers which proves to me that the weather was an issue to all involved.
Today I have already determined that I will do another marathon. I am not sure where or when, but I will come back more experienced and determined to do better. I am proud of the accomplishment as only 1% of all Americans run a marathon. I am part of the 1% by the grace of God!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Akron Marathon Summary
This picture tells the whole story of the Akron 1/2 Marathon! The first one I have run where I enjoyed the whole event from the beginning to the end. It sure makes a difference when you are not worried about finishing in a certian time. In the end I did improve my time by over 7 minutes from last year to this year.Special thanks to Nick Billock for taking this picture, I would rather have had you on the roads with us but recover quickly my friend!
Friday, September 24, 2010
My True Inspiration!
The eve before the Akron Marathon. One year ago this same day I was wondering if I could make it 13.1 miles and finish this one goal that I thought would never be possible for me. Sure enough, when I put my focus on the right things and put all my heart into it, 13.1 proved to be no problem. This year as I started to train for a full marathon (which I will run in Chicago 10-10-10), I made sure that a trip to the Akron Marathon was able to be made. Once again in the morning I will set out to journey the 1/2 marathon.
As I set out, my mindset is much different from last year. This year I am running this race for the fun of it! Last year I ran it to prove I could do it. This year I am running this race because my hometown has put its heart and soul into making this marathon one of the best in the nation. This year I am running to be a part of the joy and happiness of the event. This year I am running in celebration of the event anniversary that changed the way I look at what is possible.
As 10-10-10 is fast approaching , the funny thing is that I find myself feeling the same doubts and thoughts I was thinking last year preparing for the Akron Half. In fact, 13.1 miles is a long way - just think about getting in your car and driving from Wedgewood Drive (in Ellet) at Route 91 all the way up 91 to route 303 in Hudson. That is 13.1 miles! How about running 52 and 1/3rd laps around a standard 400 meter high school track. (For my brother Jim, this is like going from your house to the 271/480 split on your way to work.)
All I need to do is simply double that distance on 10-10-10 (Jim - you are still not at work yet!) Simple enough, right? Wrong! Although I have had 4 training runs that went 20+ miles and I completed all of them feeling pretty good, 26.2 miles is a bit of a daunting task. How do you prepare for this type of journey?
In my training runs I have played many games. For instance, when I first start out and I am fresh I pray, not only do I pray for the run but I pray for many of you reading this post. I pray for your health, joy, peace, happiness, encouragement, etc... I also pray for those I pass on my journey. As time goes on and mentally I am not all there, I recite scripture, sing, and play silly games.
One of the silly games I play is Dora, Dora! Yes, for those with kids that have watched Nickolodeon you are correct - this is Dora the Explorer. I break down the run into segments and recite them in my head. For example on my run on the Stow Hike and Bike Trail it would be "Stow Road, Hudson Drive, Route 8!" Once I get to Route 8 I call out three more points. Along the way I pretend that I come across Swiper and the grumpy old troll. It is stupid but it keeps me focused on not getting too far ahead of myself.
One last thing I am going to use for the first time when I go to Chicago is visual motivation. I am going to take my favorite race day running tech shirt, the one I am wearing in my blog picture at the top of the screen, and I am going to do something special with it. Anyone that has encouraged me along this journey, anyone that has sacrificed something for me to obtain this goal will be named on the shirt. For those (my wife, kids, mother, and brother) closest to me, I am asking them to write a note of encouragment on the shirt.
When I am getting to the tough moments of the race I will look at these names and remember all the ways others have sacrificed for me. I will remember the words of encouragement, the words of joy, the words of humor, and most of all I will remember that I am not running for my glory. I am running because others have sacrificed for me. I am running because I can and because (to steal a line from Eric Little) when I run I feel the glory of God.
My hope in this blog post is that all of you reading (and then some) will see that your every step, every word, and every action has an impact in this world. Whether it encourages me or it helps someone else to just get up and walk down the street, it means something. Even the simplest of words like hello or goodbye make an impact. A simple note of thanks means so much! Purely your presence in a room or event can impact others, so choose your words and actions carefully. Enjoy your life, live in peace, joy, and happiness. Do not let troubles, anxiety, or fear rule your thoughts. Focus on all that is positive and keep up the great work you are doing! Thank you for your encouragement and I will report the results from both Akron and Chicago!
As I set out, my mindset is much different from last year. This year I am running this race for the fun of it! Last year I ran it to prove I could do it. This year I am running this race because my hometown has put its heart and soul into making this marathon one of the best in the nation. This year I am running to be a part of the joy and happiness of the event. This year I am running in celebration of the event anniversary that changed the way I look at what is possible.
As 10-10-10 is fast approaching , the funny thing is that I find myself feeling the same doubts and thoughts I was thinking last year preparing for the Akron Half. In fact, 13.1 miles is a long way - just think about getting in your car and driving from Wedgewood Drive (in Ellet) at Route 91 all the way up 91 to route 303 in Hudson. That is 13.1 miles! How about running 52 and 1/3rd laps around a standard 400 meter high school track. (For my brother Jim, this is like going from your house to the 271/480 split on your way to work.)
All I need to do is simply double that distance on 10-10-10 (Jim - you are still not at work yet!) Simple enough, right? Wrong! Although I have had 4 training runs that went 20+ miles and I completed all of them feeling pretty good, 26.2 miles is a bit of a daunting task. How do you prepare for this type of journey?
In my training runs I have played many games. For instance, when I first start out and I am fresh I pray, not only do I pray for the run but I pray for many of you reading this post. I pray for your health, joy, peace, happiness, encouragement, etc... I also pray for those I pass on my journey. As time goes on and mentally I am not all there, I recite scripture, sing, and play silly games.
One of the silly games I play is Dora, Dora! Yes, for those with kids that have watched Nickolodeon you are correct - this is Dora the Explorer. I break down the run into segments and recite them in my head. For example on my run on the Stow Hike and Bike Trail it would be "Stow Road, Hudson Drive, Route 8!" Once I get to Route 8 I call out three more points. Along the way I pretend that I come across Swiper and the grumpy old troll. It is stupid but it keeps me focused on not getting too far ahead of myself.
One last thing I am going to use for the first time when I go to Chicago is visual motivation. I am going to take my favorite race day running tech shirt, the one I am wearing in my blog picture at the top of the screen, and I am going to do something special with it. Anyone that has encouraged me along this journey, anyone that has sacrificed something for me to obtain this goal will be named on the shirt. For those (my wife, kids, mother, and brother) closest to me, I am asking them to write a note of encouragment on the shirt.
When I am getting to the tough moments of the race I will look at these names and remember all the ways others have sacrificed for me. I will remember the words of encouragement, the words of joy, the words of humor, and most of all I will remember that I am not running for my glory. I am running because others have sacrificed for me. I am running because I can and because (to steal a line from Eric Little) when I run I feel the glory of God.
My hope in this blog post is that all of you reading (and then some) will see that your every step, every word, and every action has an impact in this world. Whether it encourages me or it helps someone else to just get up and walk down the street, it means something. Even the simplest of words like hello or goodbye make an impact. A simple note of thanks means so much! Purely your presence in a room or event can impact others, so choose your words and actions carefully. Enjoy your life, live in peace, joy, and happiness. Do not let troubles, anxiety, or fear rule your thoughts. Focus on all that is positive and keep up the great work you are doing! Thank you for your encouragement and I will report the results from both Akron and Chicago!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Inspiration of a Mother!
Vacation! Where did it go and when can I get another one? This past July my family and I took off on a trip to the beach. Typically every other year my brother's family, my family, and my mom head somewhere on a trip. This year's trip was to Ocean Isle, NC.
I love that feeling knowing that for a whole week that you are not responsible for any work! You know that during the week ahead you will have a week to catch up with others, enjoy your kids, and spend time in a different place far away from your everyday stomping patch.
Well this last vacation was a special one for my family and me. You see a couple years ago my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Our last vacation two years ago was right after she had undergone chemo and radition therepy together. She was tired and easily exhausted during the vacation and my thought was that this could be my last vacation with her! Going this time I was able to reflect on her still being with us.
Here is her story. About 3 years ago my mom went to the lung specialist for some routine check ups. She has suffered for a few years with breathing issues, but as she had been losing weight and excercising it all seemed to be getting a bit better. During this visit she was sent to have a scan done on her lungs to see what they looked like. At the reading of the scan there was a spot on her lung and also on a few of the nodes.
Needless to say this alarmed the doctor and scared the pants out of my mom. In the time to follow they did numerous tests and found out that it was indeed cancer and that the only true options for treatment were chemo and radiation therapy. As my mom's lungs were not very strong the surgical option came with too many risks, of which the major one was that she would not make it through.
With the reality of her condition in mind, my mother did as much research on her situation as possible and sought the advice of the best doctors that she could find. She also went through a whirwlind of emotions and thoughts, but the one thing that comforted her most was when she read her Bible and saw that God loved her and that she was in His hands.
I had many conversations with her at this time and even though she was secure in her relationship with Christ, she still had a hard time dealing with everything. She has a lot of grandkids that are young and her thought was that she did not want to miss anyone of their wedding, graduation, kids, etc... This tore her up and caused many times of tears and heartache.
To that end she began to pray and seek others who would pray for her. I know in my prayer group many people lifted her up to the great physcian and ask for Him to heal her. In most cases (approximately 70%) the person diagnosed with lung cancer is dead within one year. To this extent the prayers were desperate and literally cries to the Lord. I know in my prayer life I had to deal with a lot of questions that I wanted to ask of the Lord.
These questions were items like this:
Why did you allow this to happen? Will you heal her? How will I deal with this with my kids? Will you be her comfort through this all? How can I best help her? And the hardest one was what do I say or do for her?
As we continued to pray, God answered our prayers one by one. First He really showed that He would comfort her. During her first round of chemo she showed up and a friendly face was present. The nurse was the sister of one of Julie's close friends. As my mom must have been trembling with fear and anxiety this must have been a comfort for her. Later in the process (which by no means am I trying to make it out like it was easy) the doctor told her to get a wig because they have never had anyone go through these two treatments back to back and not lose their hair. My mom got the wig, but guess what? God spared her hair as she did not lose any of it.
God also gave Julie and me wisdom in telling both my kids what Grandma was going through. When they heard they were devastated, but they committed to being Grandma's joy and strength by encouraging her and just plain being themselves. The same was the case for my other brothers' and sister's kids. They all became Grandma's special supply of hope!
It totally broke my heart to think of the pain that my mom was going through, not the therepy but the mental task this was taking on her! As I prayed to God, I asked: what do I tell her? What scripture will give her peace? What can I do? God answered me through a song that I was listening to at the time. It was a song by the Casting Crowns entitled Love them like Jesus.
The lyrics are truly inspiring and gut-wrenching at the same time. Click on the video below to see a video of the song being performed live.
I love that feeling knowing that for a whole week that you are not responsible for any work! You know that during the week ahead you will have a week to catch up with others, enjoy your kids, and spend time in a different place far away from your everyday stomping patch.
Well this last vacation was a special one for my family and me. You see a couple years ago my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Our last vacation two years ago was right after she had undergone chemo and radition therepy together. She was tired and easily exhausted during the vacation and my thought was that this could be my last vacation with her! Going this time I was able to reflect on her still being with us.
Here is her story. About 3 years ago my mom went to the lung specialist for some routine check ups. She has suffered for a few years with breathing issues, but as she had been losing weight and excercising it all seemed to be getting a bit better. During this visit she was sent to have a scan done on her lungs to see what they looked like. At the reading of the scan there was a spot on her lung and also on a few of the nodes.
Needless to say this alarmed the doctor and scared the pants out of my mom. In the time to follow they did numerous tests and found out that it was indeed cancer and that the only true options for treatment were chemo and radiation therapy. As my mom's lungs were not very strong the surgical option came with too many risks, of which the major one was that she would not make it through.
With the reality of her condition in mind, my mother did as much research on her situation as possible and sought the advice of the best doctors that she could find. She also went through a whirwlind of emotions and thoughts, but the one thing that comforted her most was when she read her Bible and saw that God loved her and that she was in His hands.
I had many conversations with her at this time and even though she was secure in her relationship with Christ, she still had a hard time dealing with everything. She has a lot of grandkids that are young and her thought was that she did not want to miss anyone of their wedding, graduation, kids, etc... This tore her up and caused many times of tears and heartache.
To that end she began to pray and seek others who would pray for her. I know in my prayer group many people lifted her up to the great physcian and ask for Him to heal her. In most cases (approximately 70%) the person diagnosed with lung cancer is dead within one year. To this extent the prayers were desperate and literally cries to the Lord. I know in my prayer life I had to deal with a lot of questions that I wanted to ask of the Lord.
These questions were items like this:
Why did you allow this to happen? Will you heal her? How will I deal with this with my kids? Will you be her comfort through this all? How can I best help her? And the hardest one was what do I say or do for her?
As we continued to pray, God answered our prayers one by one. First He really showed that He would comfort her. During her first round of chemo she showed up and a friendly face was present. The nurse was the sister of one of Julie's close friends. As my mom must have been trembling with fear and anxiety this must have been a comfort for her. Later in the process (which by no means am I trying to make it out like it was easy) the doctor told her to get a wig because they have never had anyone go through these two treatments back to back and not lose their hair. My mom got the wig, but guess what? God spared her hair as she did not lose any of it.
God also gave Julie and me wisdom in telling both my kids what Grandma was going through. When they heard they were devastated, but they committed to being Grandma's joy and strength by encouraging her and just plain being themselves. The same was the case for my other brothers' and sister's kids. They all became Grandma's special supply of hope!
It totally broke my heart to think of the pain that my mom was going through, not the therepy but the mental task this was taking on her! As I prayed to God, I asked: what do I tell her? What scripture will give her peace? What can I do? God answered me through a song that I was listening to at the time. It was a song by the Casting Crowns entitled Love them like Jesus.
The lyrics are truly inspiring and gut-wrenching at the same time. Click on the video below to see a video of the song being performed live.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV0BC042Rv4&feature=related
God's answer to me was do nothing, say nothing, quote nothing! Just love her the best way you know how! Love her like Jesus has.
The two toughest prayer requests were still unanswered. Why did He let this happen and would He heal her? Well, first of all the first question of why is not an easy question to answer and to this day I am still trying to digest the answer. For the most part the answer was for His glory! I say this because the answer to my prayer if He would heal her was YES! As of my mother's last scan the spot they found was so small they are considering it scar tissue.
Lung cancer is never said to cured as it is an extremely nasty diasese, however, to have it shrink to scar tissue is a major miracle. Also to have her with us 3 years later is incredible and a blessing to all of us.
To all of us that were in Ocean Isle it was a joy to watch my mom interact with her grandkids! She is like no other when it comes to putting on a show for the kids. Her imagination and desire to marvel our kids is awesome. She set up a story of a lost treasure and sure enough tricked the kids into believing they had found this long lost treasure. The joy in their faces was amazing and in turn to watch my mom enjoy her grandkids was priceless.
For now I will always remember this vacation for all that it was, a blessing from God. My hope in writing this post will be to encourage all of you to find your joy and hope in this world. I know for my mom this event has been life-changing and difficult ,but through it all she has clung to her joy and hope, Jesus and her family! Thank you Mom for fighting the good fight and for going through the tough in hope of inspiring us all to much much more.
Monday, August 23, 2010
18 Miles, Am I crazy? What am I thinking?
Well, it has been a while since I last wrote. In short I have been at the ocean, in the mountains, and just plain busy trying to keep up with all the chores of everday life. With numerous things to write about from this past time period, I thought I would start off with my 18 mile long run this past weekend.
The past couple of months I have been struggling with running. I am still keeping up but my body and my legs in particular have been bothering me. I set out a few weeks ago on a 14 mile run and only made it 12. The week before last I set out on a 16 mile run and only made it 15. So not only was I struggling physically, I was struggling mentally.
In preparation for this long run I took every precaution I could. I tried to give my legs maximum rest, only running 2 miles and swimming from Thursday to Friday. I watched my diet to make sure I was getting good nutrients. I went to bed early enough to ensure a good night's sleep. Finally, I got up at 4AM on Saturday and spent some time preparing mentally for the run ahead.
My pastor has been preaching from the book of Philippians and in particular chapters 3 and 4. As I was preparing for the run I reflected on chapter 4. In this chapter Paul is thanking the people for their continued support in his ministry. He recently received a package from the Philippians and was expressing his joy with it. He made it clear that he was not in need but was thankful. In verse 13 he states that he can do all things through him who strengthens him.
He goes on to close this subject in verse 19 by telling the people that his God will meet all their needs according to glorious riches in Christ Jesus. In other words, the only thing that is needed is Christ to save us from ourselves.
So for 18 miles, this is what I was thinking about! What does it mean that I can do all things through him who strenghtens me? And if Christ is all I need, why do I feel like I have to do more? Both are great questions and for 2 hours and 35 minutes I contemplated the answers.
First let me say that I am not a theologian and that I am not sure if there is an answer that will make sense to everyone, but here are my thoughts. First off, as I was anxious about the run ahead my thought was to meditate on the words "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." By this Paul was saying that it is the One that created him and gave him talents that gives him the strength to go forward, so for me it was assurance that if He wanted me to make it 18 miles he would give me the strength to go forward.
One of the other issues I have is that when I run longer distances and fall short I see it as failure. It is logical that if you set out to accomplish one thing and it does not happen, you failed in your attempt. Ryan Hall, my favorite runner, always talks about running free. As I contemplated what Paul was saying about all my needs being provided in Christ Jesus, it hit me what it meant to run free.
Running free means that if I do not finish that is ok! It is not only ok, it could and may happen and that is ok becuase all that I need is to know that Christ died for me so I could have eternal life. Therefore, to fall short by a mile is not important! To not finish in a certain time is not important! To make a mistake is not important! The only thing that matters is that I know Christ and trust in Him!
With this going through my head I was on the Towpath at 6 AM and was running north toward 303. As I was getting started it was still dark and I could only see about 10 yards maximum in front of me. I could not see my watch so I did not worry about pace for the first 3 miles or so; I just ran with joy in my heart.
As light started to come out I started to be more conscious of my pace and the beauty that surrounded me. People were now starting to come by me on the trail and I was able to focus on praying for them and praising God for the beauty on the trail. As I past mile 6 I started to think about the turn around about 3 miles ahead. I continued to meditate on those two verses from the morning and my body felt really good.
I hit the turn around and at that point I felt really good. I wanted to make sure and not go too fast on the way back so I focused on a couple of guys in front of me and tried to maintain their pace. For the next 4-5 miles I followed them and stayed stride for stride with them. At around mile 15 they turned around and headed back to 303. At this point is where the spiritual and mental battle began.
I started to worry about not completing another run and only having 8 weeks until race day. I was scared and frustrated. However this is where the verse I can do all things through Him who strengthens me came in handy. I just kept reciting this verse and thinking if He wants me to complete this He will provide me the strength and the perserverance to go on.
This kept me going until mile 17. At this point my legs were hurting pretty bad. My hamstrings were getting tight, my calves were starting to cramp, and my lower abs were sore. I thought to myself and even prayed out loud to God, "Do you want me to complete this run? Do you want me to walk the rest or do you want me to run?" As I prayed God led me to run the last mile. As He led me this way I quickly said to Him, "If you want me to finish I need you to give me strength, wisdom, power, and perserverance to complete this."
And in true God fashion He did not fail me! As a matter of fact, He gave me more than I could have imagined. I turned my watch from time to heart rate and took off for the last mile. I wanted to just focus on finishing and give any and everything I had left to finish strong. As I was reaching the place where my car was parked and the end of the last mile I looked down at my watch and saw that my heart rate was 170bpm. I was exhausted and struggling to make it the last 500 feet.
When the last mile was finished, I looked down at my watch and checked the pace on the last mile. Wouldn't you know it was the fastest mile I ran all day? Not just by a second or two, but by 20 seconds. After 17 miles running each one somewhere between 8:30 to 8:50, I ended up running the last one in 8:08!
As I reflect on this run I think about my motivation and preparation for it. I think that if I tried to sustain myself I would have quit around mile 15. But my focus was not on myself it was on what God's will and plan was for me in that moment. It was not pain free! It was not what I wanted to go through! It was not easy one bit at all. What it was, was God's plan for me, and as I focused on Him my strength rose and I completed the run.
I challenge each of you reading this; I challenge you to analyze yourself and ask these questions. Do I believe in God? Do I believe that He is real? Do I believe He loves me? Lastly ask yourself ,what is the only thing that I need? If you could only have one thing what would it be? At the end of this week I will embark on a 20 mile run and I will do so with my heart and mind free that I already have the only thing that I need! Thank you Jesus Christ for all you have done for us!
The past couple of months I have been struggling with running. I am still keeping up but my body and my legs in particular have been bothering me. I set out a few weeks ago on a 14 mile run and only made it 12. The week before last I set out on a 16 mile run and only made it 15. So not only was I struggling physically, I was struggling mentally.
In preparation for this long run I took every precaution I could. I tried to give my legs maximum rest, only running 2 miles and swimming from Thursday to Friday. I watched my diet to make sure I was getting good nutrients. I went to bed early enough to ensure a good night's sleep. Finally, I got up at 4AM on Saturday and spent some time preparing mentally for the run ahead.
My pastor has been preaching from the book of Philippians and in particular chapters 3 and 4. As I was preparing for the run I reflected on chapter 4. In this chapter Paul is thanking the people for their continued support in his ministry. He recently received a package from the Philippians and was expressing his joy with it. He made it clear that he was not in need but was thankful. In verse 13 he states that he can do all things through him who strengthens him.
He goes on to close this subject in verse 19 by telling the people that his God will meet all their needs according to glorious riches in Christ Jesus. In other words, the only thing that is needed is Christ to save us from ourselves.
So for 18 miles, this is what I was thinking about! What does it mean that I can do all things through him who strenghtens me? And if Christ is all I need, why do I feel like I have to do more? Both are great questions and for 2 hours and 35 minutes I contemplated the answers.
First let me say that I am not a theologian and that I am not sure if there is an answer that will make sense to everyone, but here are my thoughts. First off, as I was anxious about the run ahead my thought was to meditate on the words "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." By this Paul was saying that it is the One that created him and gave him talents that gives him the strength to go forward, so for me it was assurance that if He wanted me to make it 18 miles he would give me the strength to go forward.
One of the other issues I have is that when I run longer distances and fall short I see it as failure. It is logical that if you set out to accomplish one thing and it does not happen, you failed in your attempt. Ryan Hall, my favorite runner, always talks about running free. As I contemplated what Paul was saying about all my needs being provided in Christ Jesus, it hit me what it meant to run free.
Running free means that if I do not finish that is ok! It is not only ok, it could and may happen and that is ok becuase all that I need is to know that Christ died for me so I could have eternal life. Therefore, to fall short by a mile is not important! To not finish in a certain time is not important! To make a mistake is not important! The only thing that matters is that I know Christ and trust in Him!
With this going through my head I was on the Towpath at 6 AM and was running north toward 303. As I was getting started it was still dark and I could only see about 10 yards maximum in front of me. I could not see my watch so I did not worry about pace for the first 3 miles or so; I just ran with joy in my heart.
As light started to come out I started to be more conscious of my pace and the beauty that surrounded me. People were now starting to come by me on the trail and I was able to focus on praying for them and praising God for the beauty on the trail. As I past mile 6 I started to think about the turn around about 3 miles ahead. I continued to meditate on those two verses from the morning and my body felt really good.
I hit the turn around and at that point I felt really good. I wanted to make sure and not go too fast on the way back so I focused on a couple of guys in front of me and tried to maintain their pace. For the next 4-5 miles I followed them and stayed stride for stride with them. At around mile 15 they turned around and headed back to 303. At this point is where the spiritual and mental battle began.
I started to worry about not completing another run and only having 8 weeks until race day. I was scared and frustrated. However this is where the verse I can do all things through Him who strengthens me came in handy. I just kept reciting this verse and thinking if He wants me to complete this He will provide me the strength and the perserverance to go on.
This kept me going until mile 17. At this point my legs were hurting pretty bad. My hamstrings were getting tight, my calves were starting to cramp, and my lower abs were sore. I thought to myself and even prayed out loud to God, "Do you want me to complete this run? Do you want me to walk the rest or do you want me to run?" As I prayed God led me to run the last mile. As He led me this way I quickly said to Him, "If you want me to finish I need you to give me strength, wisdom, power, and perserverance to complete this."
And in true God fashion He did not fail me! As a matter of fact, He gave me more than I could have imagined. I turned my watch from time to heart rate and took off for the last mile. I wanted to just focus on finishing and give any and everything I had left to finish strong. As I was reaching the place where my car was parked and the end of the last mile I looked down at my watch and saw that my heart rate was 170bpm. I was exhausted and struggling to make it the last 500 feet.
When the last mile was finished, I looked down at my watch and checked the pace on the last mile. Wouldn't you know it was the fastest mile I ran all day? Not just by a second or two, but by 20 seconds. After 17 miles running each one somewhere between 8:30 to 8:50, I ended up running the last one in 8:08!
As I reflect on this run I think about my motivation and preparation for it. I think that if I tried to sustain myself I would have quit around mile 15. But my focus was not on myself it was on what God's will and plan was for me in that moment. It was not pain free! It was not what I wanted to go through! It was not easy one bit at all. What it was, was God's plan for me, and as I focused on Him my strength rose and I completed the run.
I challenge each of you reading this; I challenge you to analyze yourself and ask these questions. Do I believe in God? Do I believe that He is real? Do I believe He loves me? Lastly ask yourself ,what is the only thing that I need? If you could only have one thing what would it be? At the end of this week I will embark on a 20 mile run and I will do so with my heart and mind free that I already have the only thing that I need! Thank you Jesus Christ for all you have done for us!
Monday, July 5, 2010
Fire Cracker 4 miler!
How many times have you set out to help others and found that you really learn a lesson for yourself? This was the case for me today (July 5, 2010). I set out this morning to encourage my sister-in-law and nephew in the Fire Cracker 4 mile run in Stow. As it turned out, my sister-in-law and nephew truly inspired me.
My sister-in-law has been talking about doing a 5K for many months if not even a couple of years. She truly desires to be healthy and wants to set a quality example for her son. Like many, though, taking the leap out and believing she could do it always stopped her just shy of accomplishing this goal.
People in her situation have many excuses. Things such as I do not want to look bad in front of all those people, I don't want to be the last one, I am afraid I cannot finish, and many more. I am not sure what the issue was on her part but finally the other day she just made the decision and decided to register for the race.
Part of her decision process was asking her son to run the race and be a part of this event. My nephew has struggled through his life with asthma and although he excels in many sports, running is not a passion for him. However, he agreed to run.
Knowing how tough it is for a person to step out in faith and try this task I surely wanted to be a part of the event, so I set out that morning to meet them for the race. When we got together I could sense the excitement and nervousness in my sister-in-law. On my nephew's end I could sense a bit of excitement but plenty of nervousness.
We took off down to the starting point and waited patiently for the race to begin. After a bit of socializing with some of her friends we got onto route 59 and soon the siren sounded. My nephew and a few of his friends started out in front of us and headed out a bit faster than we wanted to go.
As we started out, my sister-in-law began running and was filled with excitement and seemed to be very joyful. This I thought would fall away sometime in the next two miles once the reality of the task came into full focus. Boy was I wrong! She ran the first mile and a quarter without stopping. She did not complain nor did she seem to be losing her joy or excitement. She just kept moving forward focusing on two things.
The first thing she was focusing on was how her son was doing in the race. The mother instinct always seems to take over and even though this event was something she wanted to do, she still found herself wanting to root on her son. The second thing she was focused on was getting to the finish line.
As we started to get to the half-way point which was right around the Kohl's and Target on route 59, my sister-in-law began to get worried about her son because she had not seen him coming back yet. About a quarter mile from the turn her son came by us and was doing just fine. At that she seemed to put her concern for her son to the side and continued to focus on the task of finishing the race.
As we hit the turn around, the adrenaline that helped her through the first two miles had worn off and she was purely working on any and all fuel that was left in her tank. This is where I truly expected to her to lose the joy and excitement of the event. At this point I was truly inspired! She did not lose her joy nor her excitement. She continued to just move forward anticipating finishing the event.
We continued to walk and run past the 3 mile mark, having a great conversation and enjoying the fact that we were running down 59 in a race. About the 3 and a half mile mark I noticed my nephew ahead of us and I suggested that we catch up to him and encourage him. We did so and found out that he was struggling. He was discouraged and a bit out of kilter. As we were only about a half mile from the finish, I encouraged my sister-in-law to finish and I stuck with my nephew to help him to the end.
As she took off I started to talk with my nephew and try to distract him from the race for a bit. I could see that running was not something that he enjoys at all. This left me to ponder why he would agree to run a 4 mile race when he had not run much more than a mile in his life and, further, he never trained for this event.
I learned that the only reason he was on the course was to encourage his mother in this event. He knew this was something she wanted to do and he knew that she would be encouraged if he would be in the same event. However, he was beat - but quitting never crossed his mind! He just silently kept moving forward and was just counting the steps until he finished the race.
At that point I was completely inspired by my nephew as he was truly doing something in service to another. Where do you find this type of mentality in today's generation? I can tell you where - my nephew's house! He was not doing this race for himself but to help inspire his mother. The greater thing is that he inspired more than his mother, he inspired me, something I am sure he never thought about in the process.
As we came down the stretch my nephew and I found a spot to start running to the finish. Coming to that point we targeted my sister-in-law ; she was there and she was cheering us on as were a couple of his friends. As we got to the finish he got out in front of me and beat me to the finish line!
At a time when I will be going into the heart of my training for the Chicago Marathon, a point where the races will subside and the mundane hard work will have to take over, I have been blessed agian. My sister-in-law and nephew taught me a couple great lessons. First my sister-in-law helped me to see the joy and excitement in running. She helped me to see it is all about attitude. On the other side, my nephew helped me to see that serving others is far more important than anything I could do for myself!
Thank you both for your inspiration!
My sister-in-law has been talking about doing a 5K for many months if not even a couple of years. She truly desires to be healthy and wants to set a quality example for her son. Like many, though, taking the leap out and believing she could do it always stopped her just shy of accomplishing this goal.
People in her situation have many excuses. Things such as I do not want to look bad in front of all those people, I don't want to be the last one, I am afraid I cannot finish, and many more. I am not sure what the issue was on her part but finally the other day she just made the decision and decided to register for the race.
Part of her decision process was asking her son to run the race and be a part of this event. My nephew has struggled through his life with asthma and although he excels in many sports, running is not a passion for him. However, he agreed to run.
Knowing how tough it is for a person to step out in faith and try this task I surely wanted to be a part of the event, so I set out that morning to meet them for the race. When we got together I could sense the excitement and nervousness in my sister-in-law. On my nephew's end I could sense a bit of excitement but plenty of nervousness.
We took off down to the starting point and waited patiently for the race to begin. After a bit of socializing with some of her friends we got onto route 59 and soon the siren sounded. My nephew and a few of his friends started out in front of us and headed out a bit faster than we wanted to go.
As we started out, my sister-in-law began running and was filled with excitement and seemed to be very joyful. This I thought would fall away sometime in the next two miles once the reality of the task came into full focus. Boy was I wrong! She ran the first mile and a quarter without stopping. She did not complain nor did she seem to be losing her joy or excitement. She just kept moving forward focusing on two things.
The first thing she was focusing on was how her son was doing in the race. The mother instinct always seems to take over and even though this event was something she wanted to do, she still found herself wanting to root on her son. The second thing she was focused on was getting to the finish line.
As we started to get to the half-way point which was right around the Kohl's and Target on route 59, my sister-in-law began to get worried about her son because she had not seen him coming back yet. About a quarter mile from the turn her son came by us and was doing just fine. At that she seemed to put her concern for her son to the side and continued to focus on the task of finishing the race.
As we hit the turn around, the adrenaline that helped her through the first two miles had worn off and she was purely working on any and all fuel that was left in her tank. This is where I truly expected to her to lose the joy and excitement of the event. At this point I was truly inspired! She did not lose her joy nor her excitement. She continued to just move forward anticipating finishing the event.
We continued to walk and run past the 3 mile mark, having a great conversation and enjoying the fact that we were running down 59 in a race. About the 3 and a half mile mark I noticed my nephew ahead of us and I suggested that we catch up to him and encourage him. We did so and found out that he was struggling. He was discouraged and a bit out of kilter. As we were only about a half mile from the finish, I encouraged my sister-in-law to finish and I stuck with my nephew to help him to the end.
As she took off I started to talk with my nephew and try to distract him from the race for a bit. I could see that running was not something that he enjoys at all. This left me to ponder why he would agree to run a 4 mile race when he had not run much more than a mile in his life and, further, he never trained for this event.
I learned that the only reason he was on the course was to encourage his mother in this event. He knew this was something she wanted to do and he knew that she would be encouraged if he would be in the same event. However, he was beat - but quitting never crossed his mind! He just silently kept moving forward and was just counting the steps until he finished the race.
At that point I was completely inspired by my nephew as he was truly doing something in service to another. Where do you find this type of mentality in today's generation? I can tell you where - my nephew's house! He was not doing this race for himself but to help inspire his mother. The greater thing is that he inspired more than his mother, he inspired me, something I am sure he never thought about in the process.
As we came down the stretch my nephew and I found a spot to start running to the finish. Coming to that point we targeted my sister-in-law ; she was there and she was cheering us on as were a couple of his friends. As we got to the finish he got out in front of me and beat me to the finish line!
At a time when I will be going into the heart of my training for the Chicago Marathon, a point where the races will subside and the mundane hard work will have to take over, I have been blessed agian. My sister-in-law and nephew taught me a couple great lessons. First my sister-in-law helped me to see the joy and excitement in running. She helped me to see it is all about attitude. On the other side, my nephew helped me to see that serving others is far more important than anything I could do for myself!
Thank you both for your inspiration!
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